Soda, Coke, Pop, whatevs...

Whatever you call it, it's bad for you. I don't care what you say. Diet, not diet, it doesn't matter. It's an unholy amount of sugar/sweetener that your body isn't supposed to have. It's bad. So....Today marks one week without the nasty stuff. Don't get me wrong. I love love LOVE Sprite and I miss my Cherry Coke straight outta Steak 'N' Shake! But Seriously, Hips don't lie, and my say "Oh yah...she likah the sodah". 

That's not to say I'm all skinny now. Am I making my goal? Probably not. I'm down 12 pounds right now, as far as I can tell. I'm not jumping on a scale all the time. Someone recently asked me what I was doing to lose weight. I'm doing "me". What does that mean? Changing things slowly but surly. That's the only way it's going to work. Going whole hog and giving everything up will only make me binge later. I know. Been there, done that. Can't keep doing it. So, I gave up the soda. I found my body does crave sweet when I take away the drinks like that. So, I've had a little candy here and there. Not a lot! Don't throw the tar at me! Just a little, to keep me from driving through somewhere and grabbing food and drinks I shouldn't have. 

Food. I'm making better choices. Better snacking choices, less snacking. Trying very hard to eat less, and if I do eat more, eat better more, make sense? Yeah I know. Eat a better variety. Eat a salad before dinner, a healthy salad. I'm trying to do protein in the am. That's difficult. Very. Shakes are hard for me, and I'm not sure why. 

Water. It's important, right? I don't like it. I just mean, it's boring. So, I've read so many things about how many ounces you are supposed to drink a day. Everyone says something different. I stick with half your body weight in ounces. If you weight 200 pounds, that would be 100 ounces of water. That's hard. Just saying. PS, I'm more than 200 pounds. So, I'm getting there, and I think that's helping me lose weight too. Maybe?

But I still have a long way to go. My clothes are fitting different. That's a good sign. I climbed a set of stairs the other day like it was nothing, and it felt good. Not the usual struggle! But I still can't walk long distances without being very out of breath and having pain, then sweating a lot. I hate that. I have to lose about 20 more pounds for that to go away. Can I do that? 20 pounds in 3 weeks? Oh my. Let's see if I can. I'm sure gonna try!! I want to have a good, fun vacation!!

PS, I'm a Red Head now. it's kinda fun!!
Hasta La Pasta! 

Yeah, yeah. I know.

So I fell off the wagon. Sue me. What can I do? The first few days of Prednisone, I held on strong. Then it went downhill. I gave in to cravings and soda and ugh. So, I'm starting over. Actually, I started over. I weighed in Monday, and have been doing "My" thing. I've decided I can't give all of everything up, or I'll give in and quit. That doesn't work.

So here's My Diet. Feel free to follow, use, abuse, or point and laugh. 
-Portion control. Yes, food is good. Just Limit it! Don't go crazy, save it so you can have some tomorrow :)

- Have a soda. A. Soda. Not 2, not 12. 1. That's it. limits, woman, limits

-Exercise. But not "Imma lift this couch 50 times" exercise. Walk a little. Then walk a little more. Do some sit ups and push ups. A couple. Then do a couple more. Get your strength back. It took more than a day to lose it, so it's gonna take more than a day to get it back. 

-Talk about it. Blog about it. Make people laugh, or cry. Put yourself out there. There is only one life, and you have to live it. 

-Use supplements. Or don't. I won't go broke using them. I'm not a good MLM'er. I love what I take. If you ask, I'll share. Would I like for you to use and like what I take? Heck yes, but I'm not going to shove it down your throat. 

-Don't Quit. Just don't. You have to do this. For you, for your family. But mostly for you. I'm not ready to die, but my body is not happy with me. A change is needed.

Personally, it's been a rough few weeks. I'm struggling internally. It's nothing anyone has done, or anything that can be fixed by anyone but me. However, love, support and positive comments from everyone has sure helped. 

I plan on blogging. I feel a lot better when I do. I may say or do things that offend some, and I'm sorry if I do. Please feel free to message me personally if I do. I'm always worried about what others think, and I never want to hurt people's feelings. 

Thanks all, for hangin in there with me. It's much appreciated. 

See y'all soon, baboons!

Short Goal: 50lbs by October 10.
Long Goal:  150lbs. 
LBS left to lose.....150

What's Been Up?

So It's been a few weeks. And by that, I mean..."Man, has it been a WEEK!" Except in this case, it's weeks. 

You know how things go your way for awhile, and things are just amazing?! I love those times. I miss those times. I need those times.

That's not to say things are bad right now. Honestly, we are doing ok! Could things be better? Heck yes! But things are looking so much better than they were. I think I'm just bummed. Depressed. "Sad" as some would say. I don't have an exact reason for these feelings. It's just me. It's what I do. I have times when sadness and anxiety make a whole in my chest and burrow there, and there's little that can be done about it. I hate it. I truly don't like it. I don't want to be a brooding, dramatic girl. I want to be a fantastic, confident girl. I'm not EMO, I'm not all "whoa is me". I'm Sara. Some of you know this about me. Some of you don't. I don't know that there is anyone out there anymore that truly knows me. Maybe Chad, only cause we sleep in the same bed 2 nights a week. (opposite schedules=stink)

I smile. I try to be sweet and nice to everyone. I try to be polite, and understanding and fun. I have a hard time with the fun. I'm weird. 

So Weightloss....that's why you're here. I have no idea where I am. Last I checked, I was down a total of 8 pounds. "What?!" you say?!  "How can that be?! You were down 10+ just last week..." Exactly. Then the dr said "How about some prednisone, because if you can't breathe, you'll lose weight, cause you'll be dead" or something like that. I can't remember her direct quote. It went more like "Thanks for coming in! Let's get you taken care of quick! When was your last PFT? Let's make sure these medications are still working for you. Take treatments every 4 hours the next 2 days, stay inside, no open windows.." yadda yadda. 

So prednisone it was. 5 days. I've done ok, only tried to eat 2 toddlers this round, only had mild road rage (ok, comparatively to normal road rage). Stayed inside (because it's HUMID!) and took treatments as told. I'm better. 1 week out, and I feel ok! I still need a treatment in the am, and a few mdi treatments through the day if I'm too active or outside too much. I'm ok with that.

So, Minor set back. I'll jump on the scale in a few days, see where I'm at, and MOVE FORWARD. Because what else can you do? I probably won't have a beach body this year, just so you know. But maybe Next ;)

I Suck at Blogging

Hello Friends.

As you can see, I suck at blogging. Want to know what else I suck at? Dieting. Yup. I do. At this point, last I checked, I'm only down 5 pounds. Total. That stinks. I was so far ahead of this point, and I seem to have taken a step back. I'm not proud, believe me.

Dieting, life changes, exercise changes....it's all hard. It requires willpower I can't keep roped in. I want to make these changes, and feel better, and be around for a long time.....and have another baby. So why do I give in so easy? And really, as far as food goes, I do ok. Sometimes I eat too much, but for the most part, I make decent choices and keep my servings reasonable. 

Soda. Coke. Pop. Whatever you want to call it. It's my kryptonite. Cherry coke, and Sprite, specifically. And water is so dang boring. And it makes me pee a lot. Ain't nobody got time for that.

I HATE diet soda, and aspartame is death in a bottle. So that option is out. I gave soda up for Lent, and didn't cheat one time. I did really well at limiting and not drinking it for several weeks after lent. Why can I not stay away from it? 

I try to not buy it. Don't get it at the store. Not a problem, right? So I'll drive through and grab it, or order it at lunch and then ask for one "to go". I do this to myself!! What's wrong with me? Why can't I just say no?

What I don't want is a bunch of people telling me what to do. I know what I'm supposed to do. I know HOW to lose weight. It's easy. Make good choices, add exercise, eat breakfast, drink lots of water. Avoid sugar. So why can't I just do it? I'm 34, can't seem to get it together. My time to have another child (or 2 *ahem*) is quickly running out. I feel so selfish. It's so dumb! It's soda! Just stop!

I can talk myself into drinking soda. "You deserve one, it's been a rough day". "You can't keep your eyes open this am! Have a coke, you need caffeine." "It's just one at lunch! no biggie." What the hell is wrong with me?! Seriously! I'm so mad and frustrated at myself, and that doesn't help either. 

What do you all think? Any grand ideas on how to keep me on track? What do you do to avoid bad things in your diet?

I promise to do better at blogging. It helps me more than I realize. Y'all are amazing.

After While, Crocodiles!

HumpDay!

Today is going so much better. Stress levels are down, happiness levels are up. It's a better day :)

As far as my "diet" goes, it's going ok! I'm learning that I can't cut everything out, because that's when you have issues. Like, Binge eating issues. We don't want that. So, a little here and a little there. As long as I am taking supplements, doing some exercise, and following somewhat of a plan, I'm feeling good.

Water. Oooo, water is hard. According to "perfect weight loss guidelines" (that's not a thing, just what I've read over and over...) you are supposed to drink half your body weight in oz of water. So....if I do that, Noah will be building an arc somewhere in my body, and I might as well travel with a toilet. 'Cause damn! Not gonna share exactly how much that would be, because some of you smarties would know how much I weigh. Not ready for that just yet. I'll reveal eventually, and share the dreaded before pic. *shivers* Just know that my goal is a gallon a day, and I've not reached that just yet. And that's pure water. Nothing else counts, for me at least. I don't drink coffee, ugh, and tea? Puke.

Exercise. It's going! I've done crunches, and I increase the amount of them I do by 5 each day, so that's good. I can feel the burn. Wall push ups, well, I just want my arms to not be gross. That's where I'm going with that. Walking?! 2 days in a row, and for now I'm walking around my Mom's cul-de-sac. Don't be impressed. It's an embarrassingly small area to walk. Yesterday I did it and had to stop 3 times. Today? No stops! Still hard, still out of breath, but I didn't stop. That's pretty sweet. I'm proud of myself for that. 

My darkness? I'm slowly coming back into the light. I feel better. Yesterday after I blogged, I had to medicate and lay down. Sometimes you just have to. I feel like I'm in a much more positive state now. Things are hard, but are slowly getting better. Thanks to Sandy (love me some Fox's), I realize that we did do what we could for Suki. She had a great life. She had 2 beautiful litters that we weren't planning on, but happened. She got to be an only dog for awhile, she got to be buddies, she got lots of treats. She's lived in neighborhoods, on a farm, and chased chickens. We miss her lots, but I know she's in a better place, and she went home for Racey's birthday. Y'all might remember Racey, our american foxhound? Well, Sunday we would have celebrated her 17th birthday. She was a great dog, and she helped mold Suki into the awesome mother dog that she was. We miss them both, but we know we'll see them again. 

In other news...Eli has 2 days of school left. He's super excited. He's currently helping Chad make dinner, which is awesome. He's my sweet, emotional, hilarious almost 4th grader. I'm so proud of him. 

Thank you all for your interest, for reading my thoughts, and for your encouragement. I appreciate it. 

I may step on the scale tomorrow...we will see. 
TTFN- Ta Ta for Now :)

An Update. I don't know what Day it is currently...

So, fair warning, today I am a Debbie Downer. Don't say I didn't warn you.

The last several days have been....tough. I wasn't able to post on Friday because I was spending quality time with one of my favorite cousins, Lauren. By "quality time" I mean driving her to different hospitals with a spew bucket. Poor thing! She had to have her appendix taken out! And poor Penelope, her baby girl. She had to put up with Eli and I in the ER. Princess P is for sure a Momma's girl, and she was not happy with her substitutes. Once we got her home, she was a lot happier. Lauren, Wine and a night in soon, ok? We were happy to help out!!

Saturday was a much needed day. Got to hang out with Eli for a bit, and then dropped him off with a friend, and got a little "me time", and then got to go on a date with my Chaddy. Diet wise, Friday evening was a little tough, but ok. Saturday day went well, and except for a couple drinks at dinner and a coke (aka pop or soda) at a movie, I did ok! Still down 10 lbs at this point, so no complaints!  Had an awesome time with Chad, and went to bed ready for Race Day Sunday.

Ah Sunday. It didn't go as we'd hoped. Not sure exactly what happened, but long story short, we had to put our beloved 11.5 year old jack russell, Suki, to sleep. She was our baby. We've had Suki since she was about 4 weeks old. Not big enough to be separated, but the person we got her from fibbed a bit. She was born in Dec 2003, and we got her Jan 2004. She has been with us through thick and thin. She stayed at my side my whole pregnancy, she was Chaddy's baby and favored him, she took care of Eli and was his first kiss. I feel a very strong depression with her gone, because I feel like we let her down, and could have done more to save her. Sunday morning was kind of dramatic, and things went down fast. What should have been a fun, relaxing day turned awful pretty quick. Luckily, Eli was with a friend and went to the race. We didn't want him to have a bad day, so we waited for him to come home to tell him the news. As predicted, he was sad. Suki has always been in his life, so this is very different for us all. 

With all that said, Sunday and Monday didn't go well diet wise. I didn't use supplements correctly, nor did I stick to a diet. I cheated. Not a lot! I promise, I didn't go overboard, but, well, I was emotional, and I made a few poor choices. 

So, as an update. I am down a total of 8 lbs. I just hopped on the scale. I gained 2 back. I'm ok with that. I started right back on track today, and will keep going. I've done my exercise today, including a walk with my Mom after work. I can get my body going the right way again, now I just have to get my mind going the right way.

I'm down right now. With everything the last week, plus some changes at work, I'm just not seeing the light right now. It's hard, because I want to be a strong person, and be fun and funny and be a person that people want to be around. But, you start feeling so well and strong, then get hit with 4 or 5 difficult things, and you don't feel strong anymore! I don't want to lean on others, and most people don't want to hear the sad and depressing things going on. So what is a girl to do?

Well, exercise more, accept we have no air conditioning right now and I'm hot!....
Talk it out with people? But I hate unloading on someone, and honestly, I don't want to talk about it. 
Eat my feelings? Yeah, that doesn't get me where I need to be, or help me, honestly! 

What do you do? How do you get your feelings out and get out of a funk? Cause Sara needs some advice! My usual things aren't working. Help!

Til Tomorrow...
laters, alligators. 

An Exciting Day 4!!

I promise, I won't continue naming the daily posts according to day. I just wanted to start that since I'm doing an 8 day challenge. 

SO....I broke the rules today. I weighed myself. According to the 8DC rules, you weigh in Day 1 and Day 9, with one weigh in allowed day 2 or 3. It's a great motivator. I couldn't help it. After I "cheated" a bit yesterday, I wanted to make sure I didn't royally screw things up. 

10 lbs gone. Ah-maz-ing. I know it's weird of me to say, but I can feel it already.  My clothes feel different. I love it. My breathing is better already too. Way less use of my Albuterol, which is awesome considering the Indiana weather. It is May, right? Why did I want my fleece jacket this morning! Brr!

With that said, I cheated today too. Not too much, just a little. But, again, I took my supplements and meds accordingly, and not only did wall push ups, plus more crunches (up to 35!), and I walked!!

Now don't get all skippy. I was aiming for a 5 minute brisk walk. I set my phone and took off. At 2.5 minutes, I turned around. I got back to the driveway huffing, puffing, and hurting already. 4 min, 22.54 seconds. Talk about disappointing. I never thought I'd be this out of shape. 

Therefore, it seems I will be working up to the 5 minute walk, as well. I keep thinking "you have to start somewhere". But dang it, I used to be somewhat athletic. I could keep up, even with my short, stubby legs! I could hike for hours, and run up and down a basketball court as much as my lungs would allow me. I'm so mad that I've gotten this bad. 

But it won't happen again. Ever. 

I don't like feeling like a disappointment. I don't like feeling unattractive. I don't like feeling like I don't deserve things because of how I look. And I darn sure don't like shopping in the Plus Size section. I'm done with that. No more shopping until I've lost 50 pounds. That's my first short goal. I can't wait to get there. 

For those of you wondering, I did take pre pics. I'll share those as I see more of a change. I'll also share my pre weight. Not now. I'm too close to it still, and it's embarrassing. But I will. 

Before I sign off, I just want to thank those that are reading and encouraging me. It really means a lot. I try to put funnies in, and make things interesting, but in reality, this is serious and I've got to get healthy. I appreciate every one of your likes and comments, though. Y'all are amazing.

Until tomorrow, sleep well, dream awesome, and it's almost the weekend! Hot Damn!