Monday, June 15, 2015

What's Been Up?

So It's been a few weeks. And by that, I mean..."Man, has it been a WEEK!" Except in this case, it's weeks. 

You know how things go your way for awhile, and things are just amazing?! I love those times. I miss those times. I need those times.

That's not to say things are bad right now. Honestly, we are doing ok! Could things be better? Heck yes! But things are looking so much better than they were. I think I'm just bummed. Depressed. "Sad" as some would say. I don't have an exact reason for these feelings. It's just me. It's what I do. I have times when sadness and anxiety make a whole in my chest and burrow there, and there's little that can be done about it. I hate it. I truly don't like it. I don't want to be a brooding, dramatic girl. I want to be a fantastic, confident girl. I'm not EMO, I'm not all "whoa is me". I'm Sara. Some of you know this about me. Some of you don't. I don't know that there is anyone out there anymore that truly knows me. Maybe Chad, only cause we sleep in the same bed 2 nights a week. (opposite schedules=stink)

I smile. I try to be sweet and nice to everyone. I try to be polite, and understanding and fun. I have a hard time with the fun. I'm weird. 

So Weightloss....that's why you're here. I have no idea where I am. Last I checked, I was down a total of 8 pounds. "What?!" you say?!  "How can that be?! You were down 10+ just last week..." Exactly. Then the dr said "How about some prednisone, because if you can't breathe, you'll lose weight, cause you'll be dead" or something like that. I can't remember her direct quote. It went more like "Thanks for coming in! Let's get you taken care of quick! When was your last PFT? Let's make sure these medications are still working for you. Take treatments every 4 hours the next 2 days, stay inside, no open windows.." yadda yadda. 

So prednisone it was. 5 days. I've done ok, only tried to eat 2 toddlers this round, only had mild road rage (ok, comparatively to normal road rage). Stayed inside (because it's HUMID!) and took treatments as told. I'm better. 1 week out, and I feel ok! I still need a treatment in the am, and a few mdi treatments through the day if I'm too active or outside too much. I'm ok with that.

So, Minor set back. I'll jump on the scale in a few days, see where I'm at, and MOVE FORWARD. Because what else can you do? I probably won't have a beach body this year, just so you know. But maybe Next ;)

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

I Suck at Blogging

Hello Friends.

As you can see, I suck at blogging. Want to know what else I suck at? Dieting. Yup. I do. At this point, last I checked, I'm only down 5 pounds. Total. That stinks. I was so far ahead of this point, and I seem to have taken a step back. I'm not proud, believe me.

Dieting, life changes, exercise's all hard. It requires willpower I can't keep roped in. I want to make these changes, and feel better, and be around for a long time.....and have another baby. So why do I give in so easy? And really, as far as food goes, I do ok. Sometimes I eat too much, but for the most part, I make decent choices and keep my servings reasonable. 

Soda. Coke. Pop. Whatever you want to call it. It's my kryptonite. Cherry coke, and Sprite, specifically. And water is so dang boring. And it makes me pee a lot. Ain't nobody got time for that.

I HATE diet soda, and aspartame is death in a bottle. So that option is out. I gave soda up for Lent, and didn't cheat one time. I did really well at limiting and not drinking it for several weeks after lent. Why can I not stay away from it? 

I try to not buy it. Don't get it at the store. Not a problem, right? So I'll drive through and grab it, or order it at lunch and then ask for one "to go". I do this to myself!! What's wrong with me? Why can't I just say no?

What I don't want is a bunch of people telling me what to do. I know what I'm supposed to do. I know HOW to lose weight. It's easy. Make good choices, add exercise, eat breakfast, drink lots of water. Avoid sugar. So why can't I just do it? I'm 34, can't seem to get it together. My time to have another child (or 2 *ahem*) is quickly running out. I feel so selfish. It's so dumb! It's soda! Just stop!

I can talk myself into drinking soda. "You deserve one, it's been a rough day". "You can't keep your eyes open this am! Have a coke, you need caffeine." "It's just one at lunch! no biggie." What the hell is wrong with me?! Seriously! I'm so mad and frustrated at myself, and that doesn't help either. 

What do you all think? Any grand ideas on how to keep me on track? What do you do to avoid bad things in your diet?

I promise to do better at blogging. It helps me more than I realize. Y'all are amazing.

After While, Crocodiles!