Tuesday, May 26, 2015

An Update. I don't know what Day it is currently...

So, fair warning, today I am a Debbie Downer. Don't say I didn't warn you.

The last several days have been....tough. I wasn't able to post on Friday because I was spending quality time with one of my favorite cousins, Lauren. By "quality time" I mean driving her to different hospitals with a spew bucket. Poor thing! She had to have her appendix taken out! And poor Penelope, her baby girl. She had to put up with Eli and I in the ER. Princess P is for sure a Momma's girl, and she was not happy with her substitutes. Once we got her home, she was a lot happier. Lauren, Wine and a night in soon, ok? We were happy to help out!!

Saturday was a much needed day. Got to hang out with Eli for a bit, and then dropped him off with a friend, and got a little "me time", and then got to go on a date with my Chaddy. Diet wise, Friday evening was a little tough, but ok. Saturday day went well, and except for a couple drinks at dinner and a coke (aka pop or soda) at a movie, I did ok! Still down 10 lbs at this point, so no complaints!  Had an awesome time with Chad, and went to bed ready for Race Day Sunday.

Ah Sunday. It didn't go as we'd hoped. Not sure exactly what happened, but long story short, we had to put our beloved 11.5 year old jack russell, Suki, to sleep. She was our baby. We've had Suki since she was about 4 weeks old. Not big enough to be separated, but the person we got her from fibbed a bit. She was born in Dec 2003, and we got her Jan 2004. She has been with us through thick and thin. She stayed at my side my whole pregnancy, she was Chaddy's baby and favored him, she took care of Eli and was his first kiss. I feel a very strong depression with her gone, because I feel like we let her down, and could have done more to save her. Sunday morning was kind of dramatic, and things went down fast. What should have been a fun, relaxing day turned awful pretty quick. Luckily, Eli was with a friend and went to the race. We didn't want him to have a bad day, so we waited for him to come home to tell him the news. As predicted, he was sad. Suki has always been in his life, so this is very different for us all. 

With all that said, Sunday and Monday didn't go well diet wise. I didn't use supplements correctly, nor did I stick to a diet. I cheated. Not a lot! I promise, I didn't go overboard, but, well, I was emotional, and I made a few poor choices. 

So, as an update. I am down a total of 8 lbs. I just hopped on the scale. I gained 2 back. I'm ok with that. I started right back on track today, and will keep going. I've done my exercise today, including a walk with my Mom after work. I can get my body going the right way again, now I just have to get my mind going the right way.

I'm down right now. With everything the last week, plus some changes at work, I'm just not seeing the light right now. It's hard, because I want to be a strong person, and be fun and funny and be a person that people want to be around. But, you start feeling so well and strong, then get hit with 4 or 5 difficult things, and you don't feel strong anymore! I don't want to lean on others, and most people don't want to hear the sad and depressing things going on. So what is a girl to do?

Well, exercise more, accept we have no air conditioning right now and I'm hot!....
Talk it out with people? But I hate unloading on someone, and honestly, I don't want to talk about it. 
Eat my feelings? Yeah, that doesn't get me where I need to be, or help me, honestly! 

What do you do? How do you get your feelings out and get out of a funk? Cause Sara needs some advice! My usual things aren't working. Help!

Til Tomorrow...
laters, alligators. 

1 comment:

  1. I think that writing it all down here would be a start. Go back and read what you've written. If you don't like talking to others, try thinking your way out of it. I know that sounds silly. Maybe make a list of all of the good things...on paper. Find a substitute love for the food.
    But really, talk. Talk to me, talk to Chad, talk to your dog.
    I'm so sorry about Suki and I know what you mean. When we lost Moose I kept wondering if we should have spent the money to take him to Purdue and get the experimental treatment. I beat myself up over it for a while. In the end, I have to believe I did what was best and I'll see him again.
    Love you girl!