Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Day 3, aka...a rough day

So we are on day 3. It's been a rough couple of days. I have honestly done my crunches (up to 35 today). I also added push ups today. Ok. Wall push ups. I know, super easy, right? But I feel the burn, and you have to start somewhere.

I was up last night with an upset stomach. I get that anytime there is stress, big changes, or nervousness. It's not a fun attribute to have. So, I had a hard time eating today, and I was a little on the tired side. The good thing about the supplements I use is they give me great energy! But because I was up half the night, I was still somewhat tired today. 

All that to say....I cheated today. Not big time, not throw in the towel, just....i gave in a little, so as not to go off the deepend later. Maybe that's a crap excuse, and that's ok, I'll live with that. But, I enjoyed my Steak N Shake lunch with a cherry coke. I still took my supplements to help counter the extra carbs and calories, and I'll add an extra 5 sit ups. 

And I'll do better tomorrow. Because really, what else is there? I'm not giving up. I will shop off the rack. I will cut up my Lane Bryant credit card. I will feel good about myself, and feel like I deserve the handsome husband I have.

I will get pregnant. 

There, I said it. I am going to make it happen. I will work as hard as I have to to make the family I want. Yes, I'm still upset about what happened yesterday. I'm very sad that we won't be bringing home a baby in October. I got my hopes up way to high, and I knew that. I knew what could happen. I kept saying it, hoping I could keep my composure if she decided to change her mind. And I did ok! A lot better than I thought I would. I'm still angry, and sad. I'm worried, and still a small amount of hopeful that she will think about her decision and put her trust back into us as parents, but if not, I'll be ok. WE will be ok. 

So for tomorrow, I have breakfast and lunch planned, I have supplements ready to go. I have crunches and (wall) push ups on my check off list. What do I add next? Maybe a 5 minute brisk walk? Work that up over the next several days? 

Any ideas? I'd love to hear them. Thanks for continuing to read. And thanks for your support. 
Til Next Time, dahling. 

No comments:

Post a Comment